


A Survey

by wordsalad



Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, F/F, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2014-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-16 15:25:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2274879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsalad/pseuds/wordsalad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The twins needed to answer a survey. The women helped but issues were raised. Established Mirandy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Survey

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own anything related to DWP. Too bad.  
> This is unbetaed and English isn’t my native tongue so all mistakes are mine. The idea just came and must be written or I’d go nuts. Not that I am not already nuts. But yeah.  
> Reviews and constructive criticisms are welcome!

Miranda was in the kitchen mincing some garlic for dinner when Caroline, notebook and pen on hand, casually walked and silently gauged her mom’s mood.

Yep, everything looks fine.

“Mom, I need help.”

“Sure, baby. What is it?” Miranda said not missing a bit on chopping the garlic.

“I need to know who kissed who first, you or Andy?”

“We—what?!” Miranda’s head shot up and almost cut a finger with her snap movement.

“You heard me.” Caroline said, trying to act defensive.

“I think I misheard you, baby. Would you be so kind and repeat your query?” Miranda asked, sarcasm lacing her tone.

Caroline tsked, “Fine. I said whokissedwhofirstyouorAndy?” the teenager asked, deliberately repeating the question in a rush, hoping to get away.

Miranda’s eyebrows rose and if it weren’t her mom, she would have found the open mouth and blush creeping on the older woman’s neck and face funny.

“Why do you need to know?” The silver-haired woman replied, trying her might to not sound whiney in front of her twelve year old.

“Just because.” Caroline shrugged nonchalantly and internally winced when she noticed that her mother just rolled her eyes at her and proceeded to chop the damned garlic, ignoring her completely.

“Mooomm..” Caroline huffed, “Fine. It’s for this stupid social-family survey we have to answer. Come oonnn..”

Andy came into the room before Miranda had the chance to answer. She heard just part of Caroline’s whining.

“What’s that Caro?”

“Andy, who kissed who first, you or Mom?”

Andy laughed out loud, “Me, of course.”

“You did not. It was me, Caroline.” Miranda said feeling somewhat flabbergasted that Andrea had the gull to lie.

“Don’t listen to your mom, Caro. I swear it’s me.”

“Good god, Andrea don’t lie to a child.”

“Mom, I’m not a child.”

“Yes, she’s not, Miranda. But no, don’t listen to your mom Caro, it was me, really.” Andy said, looking triumphantly at Miranda over Caroline’s head.

Caroline decided to take Andy’s word for it. “I really don’t understand why this is such a big deal, mom. Thanks, Andy.”

“It’s not a big deal, Caroline. But have you ever known me to forcibly lie before? Why would I lie over this?” Miranda asked Caroline incredulously and also managed to send a deathly glare over at Andy.

Caroline just stared blankly at her mom, “Whatever.”

Miranda gasped looking at Caroline then at Andrea who was smirking behind a glass of water she was drinking.

“Okay, so, next question is where..” the young red-head asked completely ignoring her mom’s dramatics.

“Where what?” Andy asked as she stood closer to Caroline looking over the teenage girls’ notes.

“Where did you guys first kiss?” Caroline asked, still jotting down things on her notes.

Miranda and Andy both answered at the same time,

“Kitchen.”

“Study.”

Caroline looked up and saw her mom and Andy engaged on a heated staring contest.

“Right.” The teenage managed to squeak.

“Now, I’d cut my arms and legs if proven I’m lying. It was in the study, Caroline. I have no idea who Andrea first kissed in a kitchen.” Miranda said her tone sounding icier if possible with each word.

Andy looked like a deer caught in headlight and back tracked her thoughts. _Shit._

Miranda’s mood was obviously going down south, plus the fact that she looked utterly jealous. Deadly combination. _Shit. Shit. Shit._

“Ookayyy..I think that’s all for now. Call me when dinner’s done. Love you both.” Caroline said, immediately sensing the brewing war on the horizon. The deadly atmosphere in their kitchen was getting too much for her to take. The drama in her own love life was more than enough to give her a headache day in day out. She didn’t need the added trouble of her mom and her stepmom’s ‘lover’s quarrel’ on her plate.

Miranda, still chopping (the poor onion now on the chopping board) but more vigorously, ignored Andy completely when the young woman came closer to where she stood.

Andy gently removed the knife on Miranda’s hand as she enveloped the smaller woman on her arms.

“I hate onions too. They never fail to make me cry.”

“Was it the cookboy?”

“Huh?”

“The one you first kissed in the kitchen. Seriously. Andrea. I don’t expect you to remember everything but I am hoping at least, for you to not confuse our memories with your ex.” Miranda said, not with sarcasm and coldness that Andy was expecting but a palpable hurt on her calm tone of voice.

“Hey.. I’m sorry. If you must know, I wasn’t confusing it with Nate as my first kiss with him was in a hallway at Northwestern. I was thinking of our kiss here in the kitchen. Remember, Edith Piaf was blabbering that French song you like here when you tripped on a wet patch on the floor and I managed to be your knight and shining armor and caught you before you fell..and then I kissed you.”

Miranda had to bit her lip to stop the smile on her lips but was unsuccessful. “Edith Piaf was not _blabbering_ Andrea.”

Andy kissed Miranda’s nose and smiled radiantly at her wife. “Fine. Ms. Piaf was not blabbering then.” Andy said as she pecked on Miranda’s slightly parted lips. “Sorry I forgot that you kissed me first at the study minutes before the kitchen incident..only because it was so quick I don’t think it can even be called a kiss.”

Miranda chuckled and shook her head. She wiped her teary eyes caused by the onions on Andy’s shoulder, “Whatever.” the older woman said playfully with hints of bitchiness.

“See? And you’re wondering where Caro is getting this bitchy side of her..”

Miranda slapped Andy’s behind as she nudged the woman away from the counter top so she could continue cooking.

“And lord help me, she could be violent too.” Andy said teasing Miranda as she moved away.

The silver-haired beauty couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Did you ask them?”

“Yeah. It wasn’t very bright of me though.”

“Told ya. I didn’t even bother. I just asked dad.”

“Dad and mom’s first kiss?”

“God are you stupid or what? Why would I ask that?!”

Caroline scowled and was about to open her mouth when her sister cut her off, “I asked about him and that blonde woman.”

Caroline couldn’t help but laugh at the disgusted look on Cassidy’s face.

“What happened with mom and Andy?”

“They gave different answers.”

“On both questions?”

“Yep.”

“Yikes.”

“Yep, indeed. Do you still have some of that chocolate bars you hide here somewhere?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“I’m guessing we won’t be eating dinner until later. I’m starving.”

“Oh yeah. Yep, I still have. On your left, bottom drawer.”

 

**FIN.**


End file.
